I grew up in a small, deeply religious country town north of Adelaide. As a child starting school there in the early 80's I was ostracised by the other children from day one. The teachers treated me with indifference (when they weren't bullying me). Thus I grew up very socially isolated. Other kids didn't want to associate with me because I was the school 'freak' and 'different'. Today I wear the label 'freak' as a badge of honour - in those days it made me feel worthless.
Being left alone probably helped my artistic imagination to flourish. I had a posse of imaginery friends who liked me for who I was. Not a school day went past where I wasn't either physically or mentally abused. I never got the chance to develop social skills. The only thing that got me through those horrible, dark days was the belief that one day I would re-invent myself and be allowed to be myself.
I have a physical disability as well as psychiatric ones. These were most definitely accelerated by my childhood experiences.
I was born with two deformed knees so I have never been able to run or play sports that require them. At school the teachers didn't believe me so they forced me to run. My knees would both constantly dislocate, often both at the same time. I became adept at putting them back into the sockets myself, but it was hard to hide the shame and the pain. My knees give me a lot of pain and I will never be able to jog or run. I can't even kneel.
As a child I was very progressive in the arts but I was never told how good I was. I took the first job I was offered after I left school, just to get out of there. I felt so awkward and out of my depth in the workplace. My colleagues treated my like I was very strange, and didn't attempt to bond with me. It wasn't much of an experience.
A couple of years ago I decided I wanted to return to study. I had wanted to study at tertiary level for a while but never thought I could really do it. There were too many psychological barriers. I got counselling which helped me get the courage to start a course in Visual Arts, specialising in Textile Arts. I always had an interest in clothing design and embellishment. Studying the second time around was nothing like my former schooldays. I have a support network and am top of the class. I am now told I am very talented and that my wearable art creations are gorgeous. Now I get stopped in the street and asked about the things that I am wearing that I have made myself and where can they buy them. I have won numerous art prizes including a bursary from my college to attend a Textile Arts Forum, The Dawn Slade Faull Award and a Richard Llewellyn award.
My life now feels charmed in many ways but I constantly battle with severe depression, anxiety and phobias. I have really bad days when I can barely function. But I also have wonderful days where I am so creative and lucid. Artists have a significant role in society because we present alternative points of view, as we often see things that others do not.
An inspirational story
I know where your coming from about the social side of things having being down that path myself but it seems that you are past the worst of it.. which is good.
I wish you best of luck for the future
I am now finally having to admit that my polio-affected self has got the better of me. After years of struggling independence, I am now in a wheelchair almost fulltime.
I have had a love-affair with TAFE since 1969 and I try to study something each year. From next year I will have to do it with correspondence as it is now too painful to attend regularly.
I agree with another story-teller - you gotta laugh & go on!
Hi Mel,
I would be interested to see photos of your clothes. Do you sell your work?
Hi Cathy,
That is what I am working towards at the moment…having a specific range of wearable art to sell. I would probably sell them online, as they would then be available to anyone, anywhere!